Serenade
by IntoTheWilds
Summary: FIRST IN THE SERENADE UNIVERSE:- AU ONE-SHOT: Spencer Reid AKA Angel is a singer and falling apart, but sadly, that's exactly what he wants...


DISCLAIMER: I don't own Criminal Minds or its characters!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Completely AU where Spencer ends up a singer and a very unhappy one at that! This is something that has been floating in my head for a while. It's just a One-Shot right now, but I intend to come back to this universe eventually! :D

A little dark, so read with caution,

OH! And come find me on Facebook under Intothewilds Fanfiction

Love you flowers!

IntoTheWilds

Xxx

* * *

What was this, his memory was fussy and brain only partly awake. There was an incessant beeping in his ears and his body felt weighed down, almost floating on a cloud. Nothing was connecting and it was difficult to remember. Fingers twitching he forced his body to do what he wanted and opened his eyes. Bright white light momentarily blinded him. Lids snapping closed he hissed and with pain some clarity returned.

_"Oh God, what have you done?!"_

That voice, the one fluttering through his head like an annoying bird, he knew that voice.

_"Jesus Eric, there's so much blood! Is he still alive?"_

_"I don't know Jonah, call an ambulance!"_

Blood, there had been so much blood, the rustic stench filling his nose. Had he been attacked? No—no that wasn't right.

_"...Male, aged twenty-four, deep lacerations to both wrists, a suicide attempt..."_

Oh God! He had taken a razor blade to his arms hadn't he? The memory was there hovering just out of his reach. He had tried to kill himself. Yes, yes he had wanted the hurt to stop, all of it to stop.

_"...we're losing him!"_

_"Like hell we are, kid hold on!"_

_"We need a crash cart in here!"_

They wouldn't let him die, they had made him come back and he had been so close, so very close to sweet oblivion.

"Spencer, Spence, you awake kiddo?"

Attempting the whole eyes open thing again Spencer ignored the fierce migraine wiggling its way in behind his hazel eyes and turned to face two looming faces. One was filled with concern. That was Jonah, his personal bodyguard and quite possibly the only true friend he had in this wretched world. Next to him stood Eric Stanford, his manager and the man was nothing short of livid. Spencer swallowed. His throat was so dry and he still couldn't move. Taking inventory of himself he realised he had been confined with padded restraints. With a huffed breath the singer pulled but instead of a dull ache in his arms, he got nothing.

"Is this really necessary Eric?" Spencer asked in a bored tone.

"Of course it fucking is!" Eric snapped in an angry retort. "I find you in a pool of your own blood; naturally I'm going to freak and demand you're restrained, what the fuck Angel?!"

The nick name made him wince violently. Angel was his stage name and Eric's idea. Very few knew him as Spencer and no one knew him as Spencer Reid. He didn't want people poking around where they didn't need to.

"The point, I believe, was death. Obviously it didn't go as planned."

"Clearly, God damn it Angel!"

"Easy Eric," Jonah chided.

"Fuck Easy Jonah, don't cushion him for his stupidity. Please tell me this is some nostalgic bullshit stunt over Renee and Amy!"

A pained look came over the singer's face. No, that hadn't been the cause, but it was as good as any. Renee had been his wife for the briefest of times and had given him a beautiful baby girl. His life had finally been looking up when they were found brutally murdered in a Las Vegas alley. Amy had died from the cold and that week had been a year since their deaths.

"If that's what you want to tell people go ahead Eric." Spencer closed his eyes and tried to block out the God awful flood of memories. "When can I get out of here?"

Eric laughed bitterly, "They're reluctant to let you go for obvious reasons."

"They can't force me to stay."

"Maybe they should!"

Jonah rolled his eyes and came in between the two hot heads. It was so good to see colour returning to Spencer's skin. Never had he seen so much blood and Spencer had often gotten into drunken scraps, which had lead to quite a few injuries and ER trips. It was good to see he was ok.

"They said they'll release you under the condition you are supervised and that you see a therapist once a week."

"I'm not going to therapy!"

Eric laughed, "Like you have a fucking choice. You try to bleed yourself out this is the shit you've to deal with, so get your big boy pants on and deal!"

They were keeping him overnight and then he'd get to go home. Home, ha, yeah he didn't have one, never had. It was the place he lived in. Jonah had stayed with him, but Eric had left to do damage control with the media. Twitter was already having a field day and though his blackberry was hopping every two minutes, Spencer ignored it. The commentary would be a mix between '_poor Angel'_ and _'good riddance'. _Spencer became very aware of Jonah gawking at him.

"If you've something to say Jonah, then go ahead and say it."

"Alright...have you lost your ever loving mind?!"

"Maybe, I figure I'm about due for a breakdown."

"This is the third time in two months Spencer."

Spencer scowled angrily, "I'm sorry, am I suppose to care?"

"Yes! God damn it, you're supposed to care!"

Jonah was livid with him, his care dying away to make away for a pulse of fury that left his green eyes blown wide and his body tense. Spencer ignored him. No one has ever cared before, why would they care now? Jonah doesn't care. He pretended to care, keep the deranged singer happy and he kept his God damn pay cheque. Spencer had nothing else to say and nothing Jonah said could coax conversation from the boy. Looking away from the bigger man the first tears fell and Spencer couldn't help but think of the lyrics of one of his most popular songs '_Your Move'._

_He kneels by the game board,_

_The glint of that knife,_

_Let him freeze frame this moment,_

_Not wanting his life._


End file.
